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Bride's Corner: My Husband Is Threatened By My Success

My husband and I were a team once. We were so in love and had big plans for the future. We met in Kano and I was just 24 and a digital marketer on the fast track; he was 29 and working for his aunt. I was instantly attracted to Abdul; he was tall and lean and had a sharp wit and personal warmth. That night we talked about everything from our work ,dream vacations to our favorite food; and then we clicked and got married. However over the years, I got my big break and was promoted to a manager in a private firm at Abuja. But as time went by I began to notice something disturbing with my husband-JEALOUSY!!!

Abdul won't admit this, but he's threatened by my success, Sure, he likes my six-figure income, it enables our family to have a good life, but his ego can't take the fact that I'm the main breadwinner. Abdul is doing good as a civil servant but he doesn't have a paycheck that matches mine and  he seems to be having huge problems with this. He keeps making smart remarks about my success and I feel put me down all the time. I thought he would see this as our success but instead he is taking it personally. It has really affected our relationship and I don’t feel connected to him any more. It feels as though I have to choose between my career and my relationship.

As far as I'm concerned, so what If I earn more than you? Why can't he see himself as I see him- a great man? But he complains about his income and shows his resentment about mine by constantly bickering about our sex life and my parenting skills. I think our sex life is fine; he says I'm not adventurous enough and too boring. For the past five years we've been caught in a cycle of argument and avoidance: He calls me a 'control freak,' I call him 'childish,' and then we give each other the silent treatment for hours. It's wearing me down and, frankly, it does affect how I respond to him physically.

It's really hard, why cant he see that Nigeria is hard and allow me work for the family? I really love my husband and want to save my marriage but I love my job too(and every good thing it brings).

She needs your help on this, help her out by commenting your advise below.


Photo: Betty  Dyuran
Betty Dyuran
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