Brides corner: Why Your Husband Lies
If you’ve ever caught your husband lying about where he was, who he was with or what he was doing, you know how much it stings. If the lies were to cover up his drinking or smoking or who he was with, it can shake you to your core. After all, how much worse can it get than him lying to his wife? What else is he lying about? Isn’t honesty a basic requirement of a marriage? Your friends and family will likely add fuel to the fire by assuring you that him lying to you is a serious problem. But before you give him an ultimatum or stop trusting him completely, consider these
Your husband may be lying to avoid conflict
One major reason why husbands lie is to avoid the tension or arguments that he believes will result if he told the truth. For instance, he may tell you that he's at the office working late when he is actually at the bar having a few drinks with friends because he knows, or thinks he does, that you'll give him grief about it. Another lie he might tell to avoid conflict is when he tells you what you want to hear to get out of a painful conversation. If your husband is lying to avoid conflict, then you need to take a careful inventory of yourself and how you have reacted to him telling you the truth in the past.
Fear of disappointing you
Having high expectations of your husband is both a good and a bad thing. While having high expectations can encourage him to try harder to get what he wants, it can also make him fear disappointing you if he fails. So be gentle when addressing the issue.
Your Husband Lies to Preserve His Autonomy
Another common reason for men to lie is when they feel like they're being controlled by their spouse. A husband is likely to shut down and lie when he feels cornered by a spouse who is asking unnecessarily invasive questions. Even if they are not invasive, asking too many questions in a short period is likely to make your husband feel like he's being interrogated rather than having a conversation. Are you guilty of this?
Because he is immature and insecure
This point is not an attack on men. It is just an honest attempt to point out some of the traits that play into why men lie, and people in general. With true maturity comes the understanding that honesty may not always get you the best immediate results, but it is what’s best in the long run.
In conclusion this is not to encourage the lies your husbands tell but to give you a sense of understanding when addressing the issue.
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