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happy woman

Brides corner: Your Happiness Doesn't Depend on Your Spouse!


Did you find your perfect soul-mate, the one that is bringing you happiness and the perfect life? You feel you couldn’t be any happier, that you couldn’t have made a more perfect choice.

But let me ask you a question…have you wrapped your happiness around this other person? Or have you let your happiness come solely from this other person?

If you can answer yes to this, your marriage may be on dangerous ground, a ground that may crumble beneath you. You may have built your relationship on sand instead of a sturdy foundation. You may have built your marriage on a feeling instead of a commitment.  

Your happiness should not and can not be wrapped up and depended on your spouse. He or she is not the Key to your happiness. Thinking you found that person to finally make you happy will only lead to failure and more unhappiness.

It is wrong and dangerous if you are putting the responsibility of making your spouse into your happy-maker. Your happiness needs to be grounded in the right place. Within you. Brought on by God. Not in your spouse or any other person for that matter.

Happiness can’t be found in another person. It never will be. We are here to love and serve each other, but it is not each person’s responsibility to make someone else happy. That is a heavy burden for someone to bear if they are required to make and keep someone else happy.

So, if your spouse isn’t supposed to make you happy, how do you find your happiness?


You have your own value and it does not need to be validated by another person. You create your own worth, not someone else. You’re the one that makes yourself happy, no one else can do this for you. Sure a relationship may add to your personal happiness, but it is you who gets you there. You have to take care of yourself first before taking care of others. Anything other than this is just a recipe for disaster for both you and your partner.

When we release our spouses from burdens they aren’t meant to carry, then they are able to focus more on what matters. They, you, can focus on serving each other in the marriage. You can learn to focus on each other strengths and how to use them to strengthen your marriage.

Photo: Hadyzah Gana
Hadyzah Gana
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