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Know This Before You End Your Relationship

Inevitably, every relationship hits a point where both parties begin to wonder: “Why can’t it be like it used to? And while it might be tempting to simply throw in the towel and start afresh with someone new, that may not be the best solution. Here are  things to consider before giving up on a relationship.

Talk to each other

This one seems so obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people bury their heads in the figurative sand the moment problems arise.Instead, talk to each other. Be really, really honest about what you view as the problem, whether it’s your fault or the other person’s fault or nobody’s fault.

Know that change is healthy

I think when we get into relationships, we sometimes expect the other person to not only serve as our be-all, end-all partner for all things emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental—but also to stay the same, which is . . . completely unfair and unrealistic

Remember why you fell in love in the first place

Some of you will disagree with me, but I firmly believe that the “spark” in a relationship never always goes away, to some extent. so try to find it.

Locate the root of the problem.

Ask yourself: What is the actual problem here? Take a step back and try to really see your relationship as a whole, and figure out if the sticky, hard parts are temporary or a signal of something bigger at stake.

Be brutally honest.

This type of reflection and communication is easier said than done, of course, and sometimes the answers to these questions aren’t what we would choose or embrace with open arms. Try to be brutally honest. Resist the urge to create false narratives of “he always” and “she never.” Shy away from putting your partner in a box or jumping to conclusions or assuming you know exactly what he or she is thinking

Imagine your future together (and apart).

Pause for a second and imagine your future with this person and then without. Notice the feelings that arise, such as grief, fear, longing,joy, peace, regret, disappointment, and anger; from them it would be easy to decide.

Tell us you think below.

Photo: Betty  Dyuran
Betty Dyuran
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